Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
