a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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