My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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