Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Randomize
