I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
