i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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