whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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