I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
