New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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