You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
