just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
