I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
