I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
