remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
