fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
