Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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