god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
