look no pants
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
