omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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