im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
