what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
