Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize