Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
