Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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