My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
