There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
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