he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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