there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
i just had sex bonerless
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
