our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
