Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Randomize