dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
