Taylor Swift is so right about you.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
