But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
