I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
