There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
