those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize