my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
