My cat gives me a boner
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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