i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
