I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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