I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
