Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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