some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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