Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
