it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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