Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
