whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
