Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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