It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I think my fart just growled at me.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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