C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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