Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
