with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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