Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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