yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
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