Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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