Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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