i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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