I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
