If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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